Please quit your private sector job today. You no longer need to work for money. The government is giving free monthly handouts of cold hard cash.

Yes. This is Malaysia. Everything is possible. Previously, to receive this free handout, you needed to sign an employment letter with the Government of Malaysia and appear at the office, sometimes. With the introduction of the Works Ministry's work-from-home scheme, you need not even appear at the office!

Brilliant. Previously, government officers had to bore themselves at the office because 10 people had to do the work of 1. Many such officers had resorted to money wasting teh tariks. The thrifty ones just had to made do with gossips and Drama Minggu Ini debates. All in the name of being in the office.

Now you can watch TV at home, look after your 7 kids at home, iron your clothes at home, wake up at 10 am, or even catch the late morning screening of Avatar at the cinema nearest to your home. All these during office hours and the government will still pay you.

And best of all, no need to go through jams to and fro work. No need to spend 3 to 4 hours in the traffic jams or public transports. Leave that to the private sector idiots.

What a way of life! Excellent for government officers.

Not for us private sector dummies though.


Somewhere in the near future, you receive an investigation letter from the IRB requiring you to call a certain Pn. Norita.

The phone rings for 18 times. No answer. Hang up. Check the phone number printed on the letter. Correct. Hit redial. On the 9th ring...

IRB Hotline Receiver: Jabatan Hasil.

You: Boleh saya cakap dengan Pn. Norita?

IRB: Bahagian?

You: Penyiasatan.

IRB: Bukan nombor ini. Sila dail 03-4289xxxx

And you call 03-4289xxxx. The phone rings, and rings and rings and finally got cut off. Double check the number you wrote down. Call 03-4289xxxx again. After the 12th ring...

IRB: ...

You: ...

IRB: ...

You: Hello?

IRB: Ya?

You: Boleh saya cakap dengan Pn. Norita, Bahagian Penyiasa...

The line got passed.

Receiver: ...

You: Boleh saya cakap dengan Pn. Norita?

Receiver: Pn. Norita takde di office hari ini?

You: Dia cuti?

Receiver: Tak. Dia bekerja. Tapi dia takde di office hari ini. You talipon balik esok.


The next day, you call Pn. Norita again. After the usual ding dong, the line got passed to her.

Pn. Norita: Norita di sini.

You: Puan, name saya Xxxxx. Saya telefon pasal surat puan bertarikh xx.xx.20xx.

Pn. Norita: Ya, saya ingat kes you. Kenapa tak talipon awal-awal?

You: Saya talipon semalam Puan. Tapi Puan tak ada di pejabat.

Pn. Norita: Oh ya. Semalam saya bekerja dari rumah. Fail you pun saya bawa balik rumah untuk tengok.

You: Ha? Bukankah fail saya peribadi?

Pn. Norita: Memang lah peribadi. Tapi kalau tak bawa balik, macam mana saya nak kerja?

You: Jadi kes saya macam mana sekarang Puan? Saya tak faham sangat dengan masalah teknikal ni.

Pn. Norita: Saya memang pelupa lah. Tertinggal fail you kat rumah. Saya kena tengok balik fail. You talipon balik esok.

You: Esok Puan kerja dari rumah atau office?

Pn. Norita: Esok saya ada di office.


The next day, you call Pn. Norita as planned.

You: Boleh saya cakap dengan Pn. Norita?

Receiver: Pn. Norita tak ada di pejabat.

You: Tapi semalam dia kata dia kerja di office hari ini.

Receiver: Dia memang dijadualkan bekerja di pejabat hari ini. Tapi kucing dia mati.


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